A Nurse's Duty Read online

  ‘Well …’

  ‘Nurse Knight?’

  Karen was saved from making any decision by the entrance of Sister who frowned heavily when she saw her junior nurse apparently loitering with a doctor in full view of patients.

  ‘Aren’t you ready yet, Nurse?’

  ‘Sorry, Sister.’

  Karen hurried into the cloakroom and was out again in a trice. With her cloak and starched cuffs removed, she was ready for the day.

  The morning was a busy one for her as she took off dressings or splints or both, ready for the doctor’s inspection, and replaced them with clean ones afterwards. There was a steady flow of patients which only began to slow as it approached one o’clock. Karen was tidying the treatment room when a latecomer was ushered in to her, a young boy limping badly on a crutch. Automatically, Karen smiled at him and then realized it was Peter, the young amputee she had nursed during her spell on the surgical ward.

  ‘Peter, how nice to see you, how are you getting along?’

  ‘Hallo, Nurse,’ he said shyly as she stretched out a hand to lead him to the leather couch. Taking his crutch and leaning it against the wall, she looked down at his stump which was covered in a rather grubby bandage.

  ‘I thought you had a wooden foot, Peter,’ she said as she took off the bandage. The stump was angrily inflamed and suppurating.

  ‘I ’ave,’ said Peter, ‘but me leg’s too sore just now for it.’

  Doctor Richardson came in and inspected the stump, lifting the lower leg with gentle hands.

  ‘Well, young man,’ he commented, ‘I reckon you’ve been on this too much. When it gets even slightly sore you should keep off it, you know, unstrap the foot and give it a rest.’

  ‘Yes, Doctor, I know,’ mumbled Peter.

  ‘Why don’t you then?’

  ‘It’s when I’m working, Doctor. Sometimes I have to keep going,’ answered the boy. ‘I don’t want to lose my job in the lamp cabin.’

  Doctor Richardson nodded. He understood the boy’s need to keep on working. ‘Why don’t you take your crutch to work with you, then you can use it if necessary?’

  Peter looked down, flushing. ‘I don’t like to use the crutch if I can help it,’ he muttered.

  ‘Well, you’re going to have to use it for a while now. There’s no way you can put your artificial foot back on until you get that leg healed and hardened up again,’ pointed out the doctor briskly, but his face softened into a smile as he looked down at the boy and he added, ‘Never mind. If you’re careful it won’t take long – a week or two, that’s all. You’ll be walking almost like normal when you get used to it.’

  ‘I won’t be able to play football, though, will I?’

  ‘No, you won’t be a footballer, that’s true. And I know you don’t want to be told there are other things beside football but you’ll find that there are – interesting things. You’re a clever boy, Peter. You could study and get on. The Union would help you if you applied to them and showed you would work hard enough. Think about it.’

  ‘Study? Me? Gan on, Doctor.’

  ‘You could. If you need any advice, I’ll help you. You can always get in touch with me here.’ Peter looked surprised and thoughtful at the same time, forgetting about his foot for a moment, and the doctor turned to Karen. ‘Clean it up, Nurse, and put a boracic ointment dressing on it and plenty of padding.’

  As Karen moved to the shelves in the corner to take down the boracic ointment, Robert followed her. ‘I’ll see you tonight then,’ he said, his voice lowered. ‘I’ll be on the corner at eight o’clock.’

  ‘But –’

  ‘Come back next week, Peter. And in the meantime, keep off that foot.’ And he was gone before Karen could put him off.

  ‘Is he your sweetheart, Nurse?’ asked Peter, grinning widely. His sharp ears had caught what Doctor Richardson had said.

  ‘No, of course not,’ she replied, her face scarlet. ‘Never mind him, hold your leg still while I see to it.’ Obediently, the boy held out his leg and said no more, but she could see by the grin on his face that he thought he was right.

  Karen walked to meet Robert that evening telling herself she was simply going to a Chapel meeting with a friend, there was nothing more to it. After all, Da would expect her to attend Chapel when she could. But she couldn’t deny it was nice to have a good-looking man interested in her, no matter how innocent his intentions. She grinned ruefully to herself. The truth was Doctor Robert Richardson was good for her ego which had been bruised so badly after Dave’s desertion. And she wasn’t doing anything wrong in any case, not in going to a Chapel meeting, was she?

  ‘Good evening, Nurse. You came then.’

  His quiet voice broke into her thoughts as she turned the corner. He was waiting by the kerb, his Bible clasped under his arm. He took his hat in his hand as he greeted her and held her arm for the short walk to Chapel.

  ‘Good evening, Doctor,’ she answered him as formally, but felt the warmth of his arm through the good though well-worn cloth of his coat. It felt strange to be walking with a man like this, a man who was not Dave. She glanced up at the outline of his face against the light from a gas-lamp, fantasizing about what it would be like if she was free and he was really interested in her. What would it be like to be married to a man like Robert Richardson? But the short walk to the Chapel was over and they were turning in at the door. Soon they were studying the first chapter of St John’s Gospel and when she glanced up at Robert she saw he was totally immersed in it.

  What a fool she was, she told herself, he simply wanted to ensure that she did not stray from the fold, he wasn’t interested in her. Why should he be? She had not enough about her even to hold the man she had married. She stared down at her Bible.

  There was tea served in the schoolroom after the meeting, and a chance to socialize for a few minutes. Robert solemnly brought Karen her cup of tea and led her to a seat a little away from the others.

  ‘Thank you, Doctor,’ she murmured demurely.

  ‘Do call me Robert,’ he said. ‘There’s no need to be formal, is there?’

  Karen smiled. She could hardly imagine him being anything but formal. ‘And my name is Karen, you will recall,’ she said, taking a sip of the hot sweet tea.

  ‘Yes, I remember you so well, in Chapel at Morton Main. You and your sisters and brother. I used to envy you them, did you know that? Having brothers and sisters, I mean.’

  Karen looked at him, seeing the lonely little boy he had been then still hidden in him.

  ‘I didn’t know that,’ she said, warming to him. She would have liked to talk to him about those days but the schoolroom clock said a quarter to ten, it was time to go back to the Nurses Home if she didn’t want to face Matron in the morning to explain why she was late in. ‘I must go.’

  He rose to his feet instantly. ‘I’ll walk you to the gate,’ he said, and they said their goodnights to the others and went out into the lamp-lit streets with a few speculative glances following after them.

  They parted at the gates and she hurried on to the Nurses Home, thinking what a strange man he was. Intelligent he must be to train as a doctor but so quiet and awkward with other people.

  Except with patients, Karen mused as she got ready for bed. Robert could talk with sympathy and understanding to patients, look how he had been with young Peter. Careful, a small voice warned, don’t get too friendly. Supposing Robert finds out about Dave and tells the hospital? She’d have to leave and with only a month or two before the finals.

  Sighing, Karen lit a candle. It was ‘lights out’ in a couple of minutes. She picked up her unopened letters from Gran and Kezia and climbed into bed to read them in luxury for there had been no time during the day.

  Gran’s letter was short and scrappy, saying how she and Alf had managed the hay-making with Mr Bainbridge’s help and she was well as she hoped Karen was. And wasn’t it good that Kezia was having another baby? There was nowt like starting another bairn for making you forg
et about a miscarriage, she affirmed.

  Karen was pleased, she hadn’t known about it. She ripped open the second envelope and drew out the single sheet of ruled paper. This letter was short too, but Karen could feel the happiness bubbling in the news it contained.

  … and the midwife says I’ll carry this one all right, Karen. I’m already six months gone, I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure it would go well. We’re all fine here and the pit’s going full-time so there’s plenty of work, thank God. And Luke’s earning good, just as well with the baby coming.

  Hope this sees you well. It won’t be long before you’ve finished training, will it? Mam and Da send their love.

  Your loving sister,

  Kezia

  Karen put down the letter and blew out the candle, feeling pleased for Kezia and Luke. It was lucky he’d drawn a good seam, she thought sleepily. She knew what it meant when the miners drew lots for the best part of the coal face to work. It was always nice to have good news, she thought drowsily, and turned over on her side and fell asleep.

  I’m doing nothing wrong, Karen told herself one evening as she brushed her hair before the mirror in her poky little room. She gathered the dark mass up expertly with one hand and pinned it on top of her head before pausing and gazing at herself seriously. Her mother and father and gran would think it was wrong, she thought, and a small cloud overshadowed her pleasant anticipation at going to the meeting yet again with Robert. He liked her, she knew it, he liked her a lot, and she was flattered even though she was aware that she should do her best to put him off. But when she was honest with herself she knew she did not want to put him off altogether. It was pleasant to have a good-looking doctor interested in her, balm to her wounded pride.

  We are just friends, she said defiantly, and took down the blue straw hat with white roses on the wide brim which she had bought last pay day. It was the first hat she had bought since she came to Newcastle and she loved the way the brim framed her face, it was so becoming. ‘What is wrong with going to a Bible class with a friend?’ she demanded of the mirror. Standing up, she pulled her dress straight around her slim hips and went out.

  Robert had not even tried to kiss her yet and if he did she was confident she would be able to handle it. Besides, she found herself liking him more as the weeks went by and she got to know him better. There was no harm in their friendship, none at all, she told herself, why shouldn’t she have a man friend? She was happy for things to go on as they were with no complications and deluded herself into thinking this state of affairs could go on indefinitely.

  When she saw Robert standing on the corner she went up to him happily and slipped her arm through his.

  ‘I’m not late, am I?’

  ‘No, not at all,’ he answered gravely and led her into the Chapel. It was afterwards, after he had walked the few steps back to the hospital gate with her, that she realized she had been fooling herself for he drew her into the shadow of a beech tree which stood close by and gently pulled her to him.

  ‘Karen,’ he whispered, ‘you know how I feel about you, don’t you? And I think I am right in thinking you feel the same way about me?’

  Karen stared up at him and found she had been wrong about this too, she hadn’t the slightest idea how to handle it. He was bending his head towards her, gazing at her lips, and when his kiss came it was soft and sweet and his lips remained together. For a moment she closed her eyes and swayed towards him but only for a moment. Her head jerked back and she pulled herself from his arms.

  ‘Robert!’

  ‘Oh, I know, I should not kiss you in the street but I couldn’t help myself, Karen. I’m sorry.’

  ‘No, it was my fault,’ she said breathlessly, and rushed away through the hospital gates and round to the Nurses Home, leaving Robert staring after her. She had been a fool, she told herself angrily. Robert was a man, wasn’t he? Why should he be content with walking her to Chapel or meeting her supposedly by chance in the hospital gardens or in their work on Outpatients? She undressed and got ready for bed, knowing she would have to tell him the truth as soon as she possibly could. But as she slipped into bed, she felt restless and unhappy. Married yet not married, but she was a woman, wasn’t she? With a woman’s normal feelings. Not that she missed the intimate side of marriage one little bit, but it had been so nice having a man courting her again. And she admitted to herself now that Robert had been courting her. It was her own fault it had come to this, she should never have gone out with him. Tomorrow, the first time she saw him alone, she would tell him about Dave.

  ‘I have something to ask you, Karen,’ he said the following afternoon. There had not been any time to talk until then for the clinic had been a busy one and Sister particularly vigilant. Karen feared Sister was beginning to suspect them.

  ‘Yes, Robert?’ Karen was clearing up after the afternoon session and Outpatients was empty even of Sister, who was in her office, writing up the patients’ notes. Karen didn’t look up as she spoke, trying to think of a way to tell Robert about Dave.

  ‘Will you have dinner with me this evening?’

  ‘Oh, Robert, you know I shouldn’t. Suppose someone from the hospital saw us? It’s not allowed.’ Karen bit her lip for he had taken her by surprise and driven the half-formulated words of explanation from her mind.

  ‘But you’ve almost finished your training. Once you have your certificate …’ Robert paused as Sister came bustling by.

  ‘Aren’t you finished in there, Nurse?’ she snapped, glowering at him. Doctors were not welcome in her department after hours and she made a point of making any lingerer aware of the fact.

  ‘Eight o’clock,’ he muttered to Karen and sauntered out of the room, giving Sister a happy grin as he did so, most unlike his usual expression. Sister’s expression became more severe than ever. She glared at Karen.

  ‘I hope you are not encouraging Doctor Richardson?’ she said coldly.

  Karen mumbled a disclaimer and hurried out of the treatment room into the nurses’ cloakroom, her face red with embarrassment. Nevertheless, despite her guilty feelings, she thought how pleasant it would be to go out to dinner with him. She wanted to go to evening dinner, having never done such a thing in her life. In the world of Morton Main, dinner was at midday unless the man of the house was on shift when the meal would then be whenever he came up from the pit. Evening dinner sounded exciting and glamorous. There was no harm in going out to dinner, she told herself. They were just two friends going out for a meal, weren’t they? And it would give her a good chance to tell him about Dave.

  Of course, she should not have gone. She knew that as soon as they were seated at a corner table in a select little restaurant near the Haymarket. Robert was full of excitement, he could hardly wait until they sat down.

  ‘You know what I have to ask you, don’t you?’ he said, reaching over the table and taking her hand.

  ‘Oh, no, Robert. Please …’ Karen flushed and looked down at the tablecloth.

  ‘I want you to marry me, come with me to Africa.’

  ‘Robert, you know I can’t. The hospital –’

  ‘You’ve almost finished your training, what does it matter if the hospital gets to know about us? If they object you can leave after you get your certificate. It’s only a few short months before I will be finished too and we can be on our way. Oh, Karen my dear –’

  Karen listened to him as he went on and on, endearments mixed with reassurances that it would work out all right. She had never heard Robert talk so much before, his words tumbling over each other. She looked up and saw his eyes shining with excitement and love. She knew she was going to hurt him terribly and was filled with remorse.

  ‘Robert, I can’t marry you,’ she said quietly.

  He went on talking, describing the life they would have together, how happy and fulfilled they would be working for God.

  She tried again, a little louder this time so that the people at the next table looked up and then quickly back
at their meal as though they had been caught out doing something terribly ill-bred.

  ‘Robert, I can’t marry you.’

  He stopped in mid-sentence, the excitement dying from his face. He looked at her blankly for a moment before deciding he should humour her.

  ‘Why not? Oh, Karen, we would be so good together. You’re not afraid of marriage, are you? I wouldn’t make you –’

  Karen decided the only thing to do was to come right out with it. Taking a deep breath, she said it.

  ‘I’m married already.’

  Robert looked at her across the table, a half-smile of incredulity on his face. The waiter came to take their order and Robert waved him away.

  ‘What did you say?’

  Karen blinked rapidly. She wasn’t hungry any more and the smell of food was making her feel sick. She couldn’t look him in the eyes.

  ‘I’m sorry, Robert, it’s all my fault this, isn’t it? You must think I led you on but I couldn’t tell you, could I? Probationers have to be single women so I couldn’t tell you, could I?’ She was repeating herself in her guilty embarrassment.

  Robert suddenly realized he was still holding her hand. He dropped it, visibly drawing away from her and clasping his hands together on his lap.

  ‘You see –’ Karen started again, but he interrupted her.

  ‘Wait! Let me be sure I heard you aright. Did you say you were already married?’

  ‘Yes.’ She gave him a swift glance, her cheeks aflame. What she saw in his face made her feel even more uncomfortable. ‘I … I didn’t mean to lead you on, Robert.’

  He grunted, showing what he thought of that line.

  ‘And who is he, this husband of yours? And what’s he doing letting you come away to train as a nurse?’

  Karen cleared her throat. She glanced up over Robert’s shoulder where the waiter was hovering. He followed her glance and with a muttered exclamation pushed back his chair and got to his feet.

  ‘Come on, let’s get out of here.’

  Even in his emotional state he politely told the waiter they had changed their minds and gave him a tip before leading Karen out of the restaurant into the lamp-lit Haymarket. He hailed a cab. Telling the cabbie to drive around for a while, he handed Karen into it and climbed in beside her.